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Cows not as silly as humans

Discussion in 'Break Room' started by markjohconley, Aug 14, 2007.

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  1. markjohconley

    markjohconley Well-Known Member


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    Whilst on holiday in a rural region we passed a herd of dairy cows. This occurred several times as the cows, whose dairy was close to our cabin site, had to walk along an asphalt road between the milking shed and the pasture paddocks. Being a city-raised ignorant, I was 'delighted' to see the cows walking dead-centre down the road, in single file. Ahh obviously they prefer walking on the flat centre, the top of the camber, rather than the kinetically destabilising? curve near the edge of the road, where humans run. yes i realise homo sapiens have worked out there's less chance of being run over out there on the edge, but i've seen joggers still on the edge and no cars for yonks. How come we don't get it whereas other animal species seem to?, mark c
     
  2. An alternative view is that the bovines were threatened to "hoof the line" or they would be hamburger in a few days (or be used as catapult ammo from a castle in a Monty Python movie).....speaking of Monty Python....who said the British lacked a sense of humor?? :eek: :p
     
  3. Indeed. "fetches le vash." :) Classic.

    Try this as an evolutionary explanation. In terms of road accidents the essential element is the vehicle. A person running full pelt into a cow will not damage the cow severely. Cows mass significantly more than humans. They have hair which increases their visual silluette. Further, being quadrupeds they have a greater visual impact at a relevant level (say 1 meter).

    Humans tend to mass significantly less than cows and dispite the advent of puffer jackets tend to wear figure hugging clothing when jogging. Being bipedal their silluette is broadly upright. This makes them more similar at a cursory examination to trees which humans have become adept at visually screening out as insignificant (compared to, say, cows or merrygorounds.)

    The driver of a skoda octavia will usually occupy the central portion of either the left or the incorrect ;) side of the road. At an average speed of say 42 mph on a winding road their reaction time will be short.

    If said vehicle comes across a human jogger the time it takes to process the information as an obsticle is smaller than with the cow for the visual reasons outlined above. This increases the chance of the car hitting the human compared to the cow.

    Given the difference in mass a cow will cause more damage to a car in a collision than a human. Even one in a puffer jacket.

    Assuming that the car succeeds in seeing the obsticle in time to swerve it has two options. If the jogger is a cow the car must swerve into the side of the road. In country lanes (where the incidence of cows is higher). The most likely outcome is that the car ends up in the ditch or wrapped around a tree. result, one less car. One unharmed cow. one car off the road

    If the car comes upon a jogger it is more likly to be in an urban context. To acheive clearance The car must swerve into the opposite carrageway where there may well be an oncoming car. Result, two less cars, same number of joggers, cows unharmed.

    In either case the cows come off better than the cars.

    Conclusion

    Cows are, by physical design and by learned behavior more suitable for jogging on roads than humans. Eventually if not stopped, this trend may lead to an uncontrolled number of cows on the road and the complete extinction of cars.

    Disclaimer

    This examination takes no account of the long term effect of the potential soft tissue injuries caused by the cows hard hoofs (increased shock) when jogging on an asphalt surface. Humans have the advantage of both fibrofatty padding and nike air trainers. This may attenuate the disturbing trend outlined above.

    Regards
    Robert
     
  4. markjohconley

    markjohconley Well-Known Member

    Thankyou gents for your contributions. Robertisaacs, have you thought of having a rest from podiatry, a long holiday, far away from any texts, patients or internet forums; let the body recharge and the brain to GET ITSELF TOGETHER!!!!!!!! ..................... Also my wife wants to know if you ever had a disturbing episode with a 'puffer jacket', or some such clothing item, in your early years?, mark c
     
  5. Don't know what you mean! :eek:

    Baby. Asthma. Coughing wheezing and Crying inconsolably (the baby not me). Until 3am. Then wakes up at 5am. Multiply by three nights and add a wife going not so quietly cuckoo (from the day shift) and deduct the number you first thought of. Sleep deprivation is a terrible thing. Does strange things to a brain which was none too firmly tethered to reality to start with. But hey, it's all for fun.

    I know nothing of this Holi - days of which you speak. ;)

    And no, i'm fine with puffer jackets. Its cows i had a bad experiance with.

    Regards

    Robert
     
  6. andymiles

    andymiles Active Member

    :confused: i don't think anybody has ever said the british lack a sense of humour.

    john cleese himself remarked that an englishman would prefer to be known as a bad lover than be labelled as unfunny. :)
     
  7. andymiles

    andymiles Active Member

    generally it's not the puffer jacket itself that's the problem it's the numpty that's inside them... :mad:
     
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