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Things you never want to hear from podiatry patients

Discussion in 'Podiatry Trivia' started by Robertisaacs, Aug 29, 2007.

Tags:
  1. MJJ

    MJJ Active Member

    Here's one I had last week. "Just take a gun and blow me away."

    She was in a much better mood when I saw her again this week.
     
  2. Mr C.W.Kerans

    Mr C.W.Kerans Active Member

    "I would have been here sooner (last seen 16 months before - no attention whatsoever in intervening time) but my daughter had a baby."
     
  3. louisa50

    louisa50 Active Member

    I thought about that but then realised that I'd actually have to be nice to people and I just don't think I could cope :D

    Yours Father Jack
     
  4. louisa50

    louisa50 Active Member

    I envy those of you who live inland, the season of freezing home visits by the seaside is almost upon us.

    Me at one of the many sea front retirement flats I frequent: Banging at the door for half an hour, chucking stones at the window and shouting through the letterbox as the waves crash over the road and the wind reduces my carefully coiffured hair to a haystack.
    Just as I'm about to leave with a seaweed toupee the patient answers the door and says, "Have you been there long dear? I couldn't hear you with my hearing aids out".

    On another occasion my car wouldn't go up the hill in the deep snow so I had to walk half a mile uphill towards the cliff edge in a freezing blizzard to see a patient who needed an ulcer redressed, not exactly something you can leave for another day. I'm standing at the door covered in snow, frostbitten nose and again carefully coiffured hair destroyed and the patient opens the door and says, " You're late, can you hurry up my hairdressers due".

    I kid you not.
     
  5. DTT

    DTT Well-Known Member

    A reminder to me of why I gave up doms many years ago :D

    Cheers
    D;)
     
  6. Fraoch

    Fraoch Active Member

    Things I never want to hear again from patients......

    Last Friday had a new client in. I was assessing this and that and had him pegged as an old, dirty man - judging by the clothing and hygeine.

    I quickly added dirty old man to that too after he asked if I was wearing a thong.
     
  7. G.V. Zanetti

    G.V. Zanetti Member

    :good:
     
  8. G.V. Zanetti

    G.V. Zanetti Member

    What about CORN CAPS published on Podiatri Now October 2012 ?
     
  9. RobinP

    RobinP Well-Known Member

    Were you?

    Regards,

    Dirty old man

    I realise that not everyone takes this type of humour in the way that I do or that in written form it carries the same sense of jocularity, so i will qualify that by saying that i am joking....I bet you were wearing one though ;)
     
  10. twirly

    twirly Well-Known Member

    Contacting HCPC;ICU (Or whomsoever they are called this week) as i type! 'Misconduct'. Podyytrists/Shruppodists have no tolerance for such disgraceful innuendo. Ooh Matron........;)
     
  11. blinda

    blinda MVP

    Can top that. Had my undies twanged by a stroke pt as I bent over too near to him. He said "Hah! You thought that was my bad side..."
     
    Last edited: Oct 2, 2012
  12. Fraoch

    Fraoch Active Member


    hahaha! Humour accepted.

    What made me most uncomfortable with this patient was the thought of "how hard was he looking?". When I go shopping for scrubs I make sure these items fit properly whilst in the shop changing room; bend, stretch and crouch (Mandy I think your Ooh Matron quip should be inserted here) with no butt or chest cleavage on display.

    Oh well. Takes all sorts I guess.
     
  13. Ninja11

    Ninja11 Active Member

    Re: Things you never want to hear from patients

    Yes, upon returning to my home town for a visit one weekend, I had the check out person in the supermarket put their foot up on the conveyer to show me their "itchy feet" ... "so what do you think it could be?" AHHHHhttp://www.podiatry-arena.com/images/smilies/hammer.gif
     
  14. Mike Plank

    Mike Plank Active Member

    Re: Things you never want to hear from patients

    In a crowded pub a young lady plonked her foot on the table in front of me, temporarily forgetting she was wearing a rather short skirt. Suddenly, I gathered rather a large crowd behind me . I never knew so many people were interested in feet!;););)
     
  15. louisa50

    louisa50 Active Member

    Here in England we all grab communal scrubs off the shelf and anyone who is late (me) gets whatever is left. Invariably I end up getting a pair with the rear end so tight I can't sit I can only throw myself down into a semi horizontal position and which invariably end just above my ankle so I look like I've just come out from having ECT in a mental institution.
     
  16. Fraoch

    Fraoch Active Member

    You did indeed top it! Too funny Blinda!
     
  17. RobinP

    RobinP Well-Known Member

    There is a simple answer to this problem........these
     

    Attached Files:

  18. Fraoch

    Fraoch Active Member

    fabulous! Thanks Robin. I'll get one for every day of the week. I can wrap myself up in that with no torso whatsoever on show. Do they just come in white?
     
  19. RobinP

    RobinP Well-Known Member

    I believe the come in a shade of grey but they are made from a special material where the grey only appears after several washes - remarkable material
     
  20. louisa50

    louisa50 Active Member

    At least you lot still get people perving over you, people ask me if I'm looking forward to retirement.....at 50!!! I dream of having my big knickers twanged.
     
  21. RobinP

    RobinP Well-Known Member

    There are specialist websites that cater for precisely that......*coughs* I've heard
     
  22. Fraoch

    Fraoch Active Member

    I think we are a little off topic.................
     
  23. petethe feet

    petethe feet Member

    Nooooooo, we are still discussing what to wear, aren't we ? :)))))
     
  24. MJJ

    MJJ Active Member

    "Do you see a lot of people with foot problems?"
     
  25. I have spend all afternoon reading this thread, it is very funny!

    I'm only a first year student going into my third week of the course and I have already had;

    - What made you want to do feet?

    - Can you just take a look at my foot for me? :eek: *panic*

    - What is a podiatrist? *heard x10000000 times*

    - Do you have a foot fetish? :craig:

    - 3 years just to cut toenails?!

    - I have the worst feet ever

    - Oh thats nice, children are great :eek:


    I look forward to the day I can post about my experiances too :D
     
  26. W J Liggins

    W J Liggins Well-Known Member

    I've been in this business longer than I care to remember and I can help a bit on 1) and 3). The answer is the same, 'I prefer it to obstetrics'. Once you have explained what obstetrics consists of, I guarantee that no female will ever ask you the foot question again. If it's a male patient, specialist in STDs works better. As far as 5 is concerned, one of our other contributors suggested that 'do you think that it takes a nurse 3 years to learn to wipe arses?' also stops the nonsense.

    Hope this helps

    Bill
     
  27. louisa50

    louisa50 Active Member


    My advice to you is never work in a small town or village where everyone knows you unless you are prepared to go out wearing a burqa, you will meet a patient on every corner. I can't do anything without someone catching me at it.

    I'm a motorbike rider and like to ride big bikes, I often drop my husband off at the station on my way to work, he hitches a ride on the back.

    One of my patients said to me the other day:, "Were that you on that big bike? The pair of yous looked like a circus act - a dwarf on a motorbike with a gorilla hanging off the back".

    I'm sure my husband will be thrilled about that!
     
  28. louisa50

    louisa50 Active Member

    Honestly I must stop posting on here and go and do some proper work but really it's saving me so much money on psychiatrists and ECT.

    Patient to me: "Hello nurse"

    Patient to my first year male student who I am supervising: "Hello doctor".

    Patient 2: Well first I trained as a chiropodist and then later as a doctor, can you go over that ankle problem I have and explain all the mechanics of it in detail (this actually happened people)

    Me: Feigns death.
     
  29. Tkemp

    Tkemp Active Member

    Patient/ So you're single?...... I have a (insert male relative of choice) who is looking for a nice girl. He's (insert attributes of choice). Here's a photo (pull out camera/phone/ photo from magazine they just happened to have with them). Would you like to meet him?
    Me/ Sorry I dont have time for men. I have cats.
    Patient/ (sits there in silence for next 5 mins trying work this out as I finish and show them out)

    Patient/ (after telling me they have a son older than me) so do would you go for a coffee with an older man?!!?
    Me/ Sorry I am too busy as I have cats.


    not that I'm a crazy cat lady or anything.... but it does help! :rolleyes:
     
  30. louisa50

    louisa50 Active Member

    Cats are far superior to anything else on offer :D
     
  31. Lorcan

    Lorcan Active Member

    I once had a an elderly lady patient tell me that I was a very good looking young man.
    Her next line was to tell me about her recent trip with "The Partially Sighted Society" of which she was a keen member!
     
  32. katenz

    katenz Member

    i like " do you want me to take me shoes and socks off?"- well how else am i going to see your feet!
    " you want me to sit on this chair"- nah i just put a big plinth in the centre of the room for decoration
    " i bet you dont have any foot problems"- yeah coz every podiatrist is born with perfect feet
    "how can i help you today" (me) "well, my feet isnt that what im here for?" (patient)
    " i dont have high blood pressure, yes i take tables for my blood pressure"
    "no i dont have any medical condititons but i take..."
    "why is a pretty young girl playing with peoples feet"- someones got to do it

    when im out i tell people im an accountant.. no one asks anything more
     
  33. trotters

    trotters Welcome New Poster

    The most popular one for me is ;
    Are the worst feet you've ever seen ?
     
  34. footdrcb

    footdrcb Active Member

    "How much does a Constellation cost "
    "Do you treat BUNYIPS"
    "Do I need to take my socks off as well??"
     
  35. phil

    phil Active Member

    I had a patient telling me he had been cutting his toenails with one of these once...
     

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    Last edited: Oct 22, 2012
  36. Billquiet

    Billquiet Member

    One of my male "tradies" did admit to using a belt sander on his calluses. Said that he wouldn't do it again 'cause it got too hot!
     
  37. footdrcb

    footdrcb Active Member

  38. footdrcb

    footdrcb Active Member

    [​IMG]

    THIS ONE SHOULD WORK
     
  39. footdrcb

    footdrcb Active Member

  40. David Widdowson

    David Widdowson Active Member

    What! You want to look at both feet? But I didn't wash the other one. :(
     
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