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Advice on strange client required

Discussion in 'General Issues and Discussion Forum' started by dompod, Jan 3, 2014.

  1. dompod

    dompod Welcome New Poster


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    Hello all,

    I would appreciate a quick vote on whether or not to continue seeing these clients.

    Myself:
    Young 5ft petite female, doing house calls in the local area.

    Clients:
    Father (late 80s) and son (50s) living together. First requested visit for son 14 months ago. Once I'd packed up I was seen to the door by the son, and he leaned in as if for a peck on the cheek (like you may on the continent, more of a cheek bump!).
    I wasn't entirely comfortable with it but being in the early days of my Podiatric career I thought best not say anything and left.

    To be honest I was quietly glad that he didn't get in touch again. However just before Christmas he requested a second visit to see his father. Conversation was friendly and I had a good rapport with both father and son.

    During father's treatment son was busying himself in the kitchen making tea and offering drinks, only to walk into the lounge with a camera phone and quite obviously take a picture of me treating his father. I immediately looked up at the camera and he disappeared off into the kitchen again. Not knowing for sure that he had photographed me I didn't say anything.

    As before was seen to the door with the same 'peck on the cheek'.

    The father is German although he has lived in the UK for 2-3 decades and the son has spent much of his life here. I can't decide if the goodbyes are a product of his upbringing, but the possible photo taking has gotten me concerned.

    What would others do in this situation?
     
  2. Simon Ross

    Simon Ross Active Member

    I have sent you a private message......but..........

    did the patients mention to you that they have had other practitioners provide DOM chiropody to them before?

    if they have, then you may want to ask the previous practitioner how they found them!
     
  3. dompod

    dompod Welcome New Poster

    First time either of them have had professional foot work unfortunately.

    Any other interpretations on what to do most welcome.
     
  4. DTT

    DTT Well-Known Member

    If YOU are not happy then DON'T GO BACK .

    Trust your gut feeling your safety is paramount.
    Cheers
    D;)
     
  5. Ian Linane

    Ian Linane Well-Known Member

    Always difficult to advise on these matters.

    Aside from the personal goodbye, even allowing for cultural differences, I would think taking a of you or the treatment (if not you) without your permission is a no no, in my opinion.

    It would seem you are sufficiently uncomfortable to raise the matter here so it might be better to extricate yourself delicately whilst it is a simple matter than find yourself becoming more uncomfortable.
     
  6. W J Liggins

    W J Liggins Well-Known Member

    Hi

    Probably perfectly innocent but as Ian has said, the camera is quite improper. Germany is not France or Italy and, (subject to my being castigated by people from certain areas there) I've always found them to be quite charming but as conservative as the British with regard to invasion of personal space (please, no jokes).

    I'd simply pass them to a male colleague.

    All the best

    Bill
     
  7. Pauline burrell-saward

    Pauline burrell-saward Active Member

    Go with your gut instinct,

    You are uncomfortable enough to ask for advise,so don't go again.
     
  8. horseman

    horseman Active Member

    Hi,

    If you're uneasy about it make a polite excuse and become unavailable. Having said that I had a number of hugs from patients after a family death, all people I had known a long time. The photo bit would strike me as weird and more than a bit odd :wacko::wacko:but hey I trained as a Podiatrist so what do I know about odd.
    Bottom line, if you're not happy, walk away:eek:
    Most patients are normal though.

    Happy New Year!
     
  9. David Smith

    David Smith Well-Known Member

    I would say if you don't feel comfortable then don't go back,its your choice. However in my opinion just because you feel it may be a sinister situation doesn't mean it is and as a man i would not have even given two hoots if some took a photo. He might have been sending a photo to his sister with a text saying 'look dad's finally getting his feet sorted and here's the proof' . As for the cheek kiss, I'm a hand shake kind of guy and I'm often surprised how many if not most women are almost offended if I offer the hand instead of the hug and cheek, even one's I hardly know, I'm not comfortable with the huggy cheek kiss thing but it's not sinister just me being weird.
     
  10. AlanCawthorne

    AlanCawthorne Member

    My wife is an acupuncturist, and always 'goes with her instinct' as it is usually right. Myself, previously a Personal Safety Advisor (self defence instructor), my best advice is don't put yourself into a situation where you feel uncomfortable. 100% behind the advice of referring them onto a male colleague. Get them to make all the contact, and even book the next visit, so the client has no further reason to contact you.
     
  11. toughspiders

    toughspiders Active Member

    Dom Pod, from one petite less than 5ft female pod to another ;)

    I guessy this man got the hots for the little foot fairy! I cant see any innocence in what he has done.

    I have had patients kiss me ,, some who do it regularly and take great pleasure in it but they are patients i have known for many many years, one is german and he always kisses my hands. To do it on the first visit is sus!

    Also the camera very strange,, to not ask , to run in and just do it - weird!!! To just do it and not say why you are doing it or ask , is very inappropriate.


    My advice would be to stay away for the next one. Always make sure someone knows where you are and what time you will be there and out by.

    Also you have gotta stand up for yourself! If you do choose to go back tell him before you go that you would prefer no doorstep snogs!

    B
     
  12. dompod

    dompod Welcome New Poster

    Thank you all for your advice,

    I've had many thoughts on it over the weekend. Everything from giving them one more chance to completely dismissing the prospect of returning.

    David Smith your theory on the picture is quite possible, it could be something as innocent as that. But as he's since asked for my home address so that he can post me 'something I'd like'....I think @toughspider's opinion may be closer to the truth.

    Unfortunately I'm a one woman band so referring them to a male colleague isn't an option. I think I'll pass them the details of a male acquaintance pod in the area should they get in touch again, hopefully it'll be another 14 months this time.


    Thank you all for your help :)
     
  13. Rebecca Lomas

    Rebecca Lomas Member

    Hi dompod,

    I also carry out home visits, I feel that he crossed the proffesion/patient line when he possibly took a photograph of you carrying out a treatment without your permission.

    In my opinion if you have a feeling that something is amiss it may well be, and the money is never worth a risk. Never give out your home address and you could even post a letter to say you are no longer carrying out doms in his area.

    Having said that I have a lot of really lovely chaps that I see in their homes and at the clinic that I feel completely safe with, and that's the difference.
     
  14. Pauline burrell-saward

    Pauline burrell-saward Active Member

    A few years ago I saw a new Pt. a Downs syndrome 50ish male, accompanied by a carer.

    the carer stayed with the Pt.

    After treatment the Pt. asked if he could kiss me "with tongues", I declined and said I would shake his hand, which he quite happily did.

    So what's the problem???

    The carer thought it was hilarious ( not he wasn't embarrassed), it is obviously a regular occurrence.

    I was furious, I have treated plenty of "Downs" and whilst they are very affectionate by nature what he was asking is obviously learnt and TOLLERATED by the carers.

    I contacted the appropriate authority ( he was under local authority care) and said how inappropriate the behaviour of the carer was, don't know what happened but never saw the Pt. again,
     
  15. pete the pod

    pete the pod Welcome New Poster

    Hi colleague.
    I was intrigued by both your predicament (which appears to be in two parts-your personal space and your safety), and the responses from colleagues by way of empathy and advice.
    As 30 years of practice to draw experience from and with 3 universities sending me students (many of them diminutive young females) for clinical supervision it is increasingly obvious that the podiatric practitioner needs training in conducting the evolving medical interview appropriately. In these times there is an increasing casualisation (kiss the cheek,call me pete for example) and the ubiquitous mobile phone means you can be recorded anywhere, anytime and without your permission or awareness.
    I instruct students to always introduce themselves with their full name (i'm Jillian Smith -you can call me Jill if you prefer) and an extended hand for handshake. It sets the rules that you are taking management responsibility in a complex duty of care relationship. I would urge you to review the DOM scenario and how you could take charge and make it yours, instead of dis-empowering yourself and palming it off-and learning nothing. From your description I don't believe you were unsafe, just taken aback and lacking experience.Like were all were at one time. p the p
     
  16. pete the pod

    pete the pod Welcome New Poster

    Hi colleague.
    I was intrigued by both your predicament (which appears to be in two parts-your personal space and your safety), and the responses from colleagues by way of empathy and advice.
    As 30 years of practice to draw experience from and with 3 universities sending me students (many of them diminutive young females) for clinical supervision it is increasingly obvious that the podiatric practitioner needs training in conducting the evolving medical interview appropriately. In these times there is an increasing casualisation (kiss the cheek,call me pete for example) and the ubiquitous mobile phone means you can be recorded anywhere, anytime and without your permission or awareness.
    I instruct students to always introduce themselves with their full name (i'm Jillian Smith -you can call me Jill if you prefer) and an extended hand for handshake. It sets the rules that you are taking management responsibility in a complex duty of care relationship. I would urge you to review the DOM scenario and how you could take charge and make it yours, instead of dis-empowering yourself and palming it off-and learning nothing. From your description I don't believe you were unsafe, just taken aback and lacking experience.Like were all were at one time. p the p
     
  17. pete the pod

    pete the pod Welcome New Poster

    Hi colleague.
    I was intrigued by both your predicament (which appears to be in two parts-your personal space and your safety), and the responses from colleagues by way of empathy and advice.
    As 30 years of practice to draw experience from and with 3 universities sending me students (many of them diminutive young females) for clinical supervision it is increasingly obvious that the podiatric practitioner needs training in conducting the evolving medical interview appropriately. In these times there is an increasing casualisation (kiss the cheek,call me pete for example) and the ubiquitous mobile phone means you can be recorded anywhere, anytime and without your permission or awareness.
    I instruct students to always introduce themselves with their full name (i'm Jillian Smith -you can call me Jill if you prefer) and an extended hand for handshake. It sets the rules that you are taking management responsibility in a complex duty of care relationship. I would urge you to review the DOM scenario and how you could take charge and make it yours, instead of dis-empowering yourself and palming it off-and learning nothing. From your description I don't believe you were unsafe, just taken aback and lacking experience.Like were all were at one time. p the p
     
  18. Pauline burrell-saward

    Pauline burrell-saward Active Member

    sorry spelling typos.

    Tolerated not tollerated!!!!
     
  19. Jacqui Walker

    Jacqui Walker Active Member

    I'm tending to go with the majority of the opinion here - you felt uncomfortable - no-one has the right to make you feel uncomfortable or tell you how you feel about anything - it's your feelings - if it feels wrong it probably is. Wise words once told to me - if it looks like a fish, smells like a fish - IT'S A FISH! Go with your instinct.

    We've all had clients/patients who are challenging and you sometimes have to decide whether they are worth your time and effort. Just before xmas I had to decide not to visit a particular client again because I came away smelling of dog urine!! The cost of cleaning the car seat far outweighed the fees. Nice lady - BAD dog!

    For you it's nice old man - not so nice son!
     
  20. MaireMurph

    MaireMurph Member

    I have quite a few German patients and they are actually quite formal; they always shake hands, even the children.
    I don't think you should see the father & son; can you recommend a local male practitioner for them instead?
     
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