Caption Competition

"I'm pulling it out now. Brace yourself!"

 

"Told you that your trousers needed to be longer!"

 

Ok! I'll use a ruler. At least it will make me look like I know what I'm doing!

 

I don't care what "barefoot Jimmy does", you don't run barefoot around the classroom.

Inside leg? Does sir dress to the left or right?

 

"She drained the blood from his catheter directly into the measuring cylinder"

 

OK, turn your head and cough.

 

From an early age, young Jimmy's teachers knew he had a future in adult entertainment.

 

I don't CARE what the label says, these is NOT a 31 inch bootleg cut!

 

Hmmmmmmmmm, now.....the axis of motion of the transverse plane is perpendicular to the..., no wait........ the STJ axis is 19 degrees medial to the Saggital plane and........., no no no... OK...I got it, the ground force through the mid tarsal ....oh crips, forget it........where's Dr. Kirby when you need him.

 

The Root Cause is Skiveallitis, and for that my boy it's the Ruler for you!

 

"I've read your essay, which I have in front of me. Frankly your use of grammar and spelling is appalling, so it's the ruler up the trouser leg and into the right testicle for you my boy."

"Is now a good time to tell your father that your biometrics mean that you'll never make it as a professional football player"

"****, I think I've left the iron on"

 

"Lets pretend that I'm actually going to do something with all of these measurements."

"Now that's a change of 2mm, I know my measurement error is 3mm, so did I really see that movement or not?"

 

"From where I'm standing I can see down the front of your blouse, mmmm boobies"

 

This Post should keep the scarecrow upright.... Oh blast its meant to go in the field isn't it!!

 

Larfed n larfed.

 

"OK, so that's it stapled to the tibia, I'll just staple it to the talar head and that should hold the foot in neutral."

 

"Angela took the meaning of orthopaedic a little bit too literally."

 

Simon has won me - these cracked me up:

"She drained the blood from his catheter directly into the measuring cylinder"

"I've read your essay, which I have in front of me. Frankly your use of grammar and spelling is appalling, so it's the ruler up the trouser leg and into the right testicle for you my boy."

 

' So students, This is the optimal length for English men to wear socks while shorts and sandals are in season.'

 

Bloody marketing people, who thought purple was a good colour.

 

Hmm. If what you claim is true and it really will reach the floor, your penis is over a metre long!

 

Robert look down and behind you, see that line on the floor I think you may have just crossed over it.

PMSL

 

Not the first time.

I'm impressed by you're awareness of colour mike. I had no idea you were... That way .

 

I think she is Russian.

Because she is using a red ruler to measure feet, ladders are sometimes measured in feet, some fire engines have ladders, fire engines are always rushin' and Russians are red!

 

I know using superglue is radical but this splint has done a terrific job and you should be able to leave this counter in two or three weeks!

 

Angela unfortunately misinterpreted the Consultant Peadiatricians referral which asked her to rule out shin splints...

 

Personally, I love the use of the pun :drinks

 

"Due to studies showing error in measurement, we've devised a new method for measuring length. In this particular instance, we can accurately measure this ruler to be 1 tibia point 05 navicular. We're expecting the aircraft industry to start using it due to its incredible accuracy. For example, the average Boeing 747 measures 1052 femur point 08 hallux with a 1st standard deviation of 1.3 distal phalanx."

 

'Hmmm.... a problem, this ruler doesn't measure in feet..'

 

Angela thought she'd better check how much of little Jimmy was left after her gigantic sneeze blew his upper body clean away

 

"Gigantic sneeze": isn't that a common euphemism for an orgasm?

 

LMAO

Mind in the gutter Spooner!

 

Well Mr Smith you have passed the candyfloss up the trouser-leg test and it is my pleasure to welcome you into the wombles lodge.

 

Ever the professional, Angela managed to concentrate on the job in hand despite having just been given that amazing pearl necklace.

Not sure if this one should really be posted. Kinda getting into Robert's line crossing territory here

Robin

 

PML

 

Its the width that matters..... MEASURE THE WIDTH DAMMIT!

 

LMAO!!

 

Languishing at the bottom of the Clarks (ultra technical) "shoe fitting" trainee class, Angela just could not fathom why she was not measuring the right size.

When questioned "shoe fitting" training veteran Kelly Ann (age 17), was able to explain that, "she's measurin' the wrong way innit"

Robin

 

Please step off my thumb, you're affecting my intra-rater reliability.