Things you never want to hear from podiatry patients

Re: Things you never want to hear from patients

Patient :-"My foot hurts when i press here"

Me:- "does it hurt when you walk on it?"

Patient "no, just when i press it like this"

Me, in my head, "SO DON'T PRESS IT YOU DAPPY SOD!!!!"

 

Re: Things you never want to hear from patients

Love this thread.
I did think of one more, a true comment that I will ALWAYS remember.
While giving a consult I said to the relative in the room "Your Mother has quite a problem" at which point he replied.....

"But Doctor, that's not my Mother, that's my wife!!"

oooooo, not good!

Steve

 

Re: Things you never want to hear from patients

LOL
I don't care what country you're from, that has GOT to hurt!

Anyone else done this one?

"good afternoon mr smith"

"its MRS Smith actually"

 

Re: Things you never want to hear from patients

I remember the story of a podiatry student who closed the curtain to the cubicle and asked his patient to "pop her things off". He opened the curtains a few minutes later to find her in her bra and knickers.......

 

Re: Things you never want to hear from patients

Some dear old gent once called me 'a toboggonist'.

And a few times when telling someone i was a podiatrist, they ve answered 'is that telling what people to eat and stuff?'

 

Re: Things you never want to hear from patients

Beware mother's who are visiting daughter and son-in-law from afar. Last month a sprightly, if slightly overbearing seventy-two year-old visited with her daughter - an attractive, upwardly-mobile accountant's wife (Merc SLR, Gucci, Dolce & Gabbana and Jimmy Choos), who thought a private podiatry consultation was in order to ease her chronic foot pain. In reception, at the end of the consult, daughter is outside the clinic speaking on mobile when mother discovers she has left her own purse in the car. Instead of waiting for her daughter to return, she picks up her daughter's large Gucci and looks inside for her purse, removing contents as she does. In a reception/waiting room with a dozen or so patients, said mother then removes an extremely large 'rabbit' vibrator with pink luminescent beads and knobbly head - and holds it aloft in one hand whilst carrying on the search for her daughter's purse with the other.....

As good fortune would have it, daughter arrives back into waiting room just as the mother locates the purse, but her tight grip of the vibrator has also activated the 'rabbit' and the rotating head and in her surprise, she drops it onto the floor where it breaks open scattering batteries everywhere..

Needless to say very little was said by clinic staff or by other patients whilst a scarlet-faced daughter settled the fee (very quickly) and ushered offending mother out of the clinic to twenty questions....

But it hurt afterwards!

One of the highlights of the year - so far.

 

Re: Things you never want to hear from patients

Several years ago I was working in a small, but busy, community clinic alongside a female doctor who ran her family planning clinic on the same afternoon. This particular doctor - a real friendly gabbermouth from Ulster -cultivated a well-deserved reputation for speed-fitting IUDs (contraceptive coils) and could easily see three patients to my one. Her prophylactic production line was punctuated only by the calls of "Next" , "Don't be keeping me" and "On ye come there now!"

Midway through a busy afternoon she appeared around my door just as a patient was leaving and sat down ashen-faced. She described how she had called a woman into her room, laid her down on the examination couch, quickly lifted up her skirt and pulled her knickers down.

"There I was, gloved and lubed-up and fishing around her cervix for the old coil and I couldn't find it and I turned and looked at her when she says very quietly...."

New graduates and students should note that it always pays to take your time and ensure you've got the correct patient before you start.....

 

Re: Things you never want to hear from patients

a couple of weeks ago i had to see an unfortunate young man in his early 20's who is bedbound due to paraquat poisoning. i was greeted at the door by his mother who informed me that her son had got his pet snake on the bed and asked me if this would be a problem

 

Re: Things you never want to hear from patients

Nice. Had a few old dears over the years who were referred by their doctor with infected cryptosis and swear that it's an "orgasm that's making the toe red and sore." No point in doing a C&S then!

 

Re: Things you never want to hear from patients

Hi Steve....was she called Demi by any chance?

Just recalled a similar incident:

About 5 years ago, a lady (about 45-50ish I think) returns for a Nail Surgery review, my Secretary (Bless her Heart) notices the bulge in her belly which seems rather low on her frame and says during the waiting room conversation "...so, when is the Baby due ?"
Lady replies "...but I'm not pregnant".......an awkward silence falls......
finally the Lady breaks the pause in conversation by saying with a broad smile "....but thanks for the compliment, most people would think I'm too old !"

Only an Irishwoman (My Secretary) could have dodged THAT bullet....

 

Re: Things you never want to hear from patients

Things you never want to hear from patients.....

1) " Since you are working as a healthcare professional, can I ask you a few questions on my piles as well?"
2)" Can you please check my fingernails if they need to be cut?"
3)" Can't the insoles be any cheaper? The other podiatrist down the road is selling for xxx price."

 

Re: Things you never want to hear from patients

well its not exactly what we hate hearing from Patients, more the other way around...........


I went to University with a guy who in Final year at a Teaching Hospital Acute Foot Clinic in Perth (West. Australia) was in a case conference with the Podiatrist, Endocrinologist, Medical Registrar, Medical Student and the very sick Patient. Whilst discussion was going back and forth, the Patient asked the Podiatry student some question about his foot condition that was being discussed. Said student replies along the lines of :

"...We don't exactly know what's wrong, but we'll find out after the autopsy !"

Apparently you could hear a pin drop !

 

Re: Things you never want to hear from patients

Pt says what made you want to go into feet then

Reply, its better than the clap clinic!

 

Re: Things you never want to hear from patients

When trying to take a medical history you ask if they are on any medication. They say yes. You ask what it is and they say....

"well theres one beginning with P, you know it's a little blue round one, and a little white one, you must know what they are!"

And in Paediatric clinics

"you could'nt look at Caleb, sonia, tracy, mark, alan, lucy and stevens feet as well could you. Oh and i've got a verruca"

And the all to frequent

"I saw another Chiropodist and he told me the insoles were'nt built up enough"

YES AND HE WON'T BE EXPLAINING TO YOUR LAWYER WHY YOU HAD AN INVERSION SPRAIN ON ACCOUNT OF THE EXTRA WEDGING WILL HE?!?!?!?!

 

Re: Things you never want to hear from patients

After upteen visits and upteen explanations, they still say "Did you get the roots out this time?"

 

Re: Things you never want to hear from patients

1. do you have a foot fetish ?? i have had that one on many occasions
2. sorry i did not have time to wash my feet after i came from working in the sewage works, farm, etc
3. can you cut a "v" in my nails to prevent ingrowing toenails
4.i have been putting savlon on my toenail fungus - it seems like its going.
5. can you cut them as short as possible - i dont mind a little blood
6. can you glance at my husbands feet while i am here
7. the last sheropodiast cut my corn till it bled and it lasted for ages, can you do the same
8. is that black stuff dirt?
9. you have tucked my breasts into my tights, can you get them out please - yes really i have had that one!
10. i didnt like to take the pad off it was so comfy i left it on (4 months later)
i have loads more, just havent got time to post them right now, good thread though lol

 

1. Don't you get old, dear!
2. Who does your feet?
3. My daughter is a trained nurse and she said...(come on, I know you all identify with this one!)
4. You know a lot ... you're almost like a real doctor.
And many, many more...

 

I was thinking this type of thread needed to be started. Someone got there before me! Good work!



1. I remember I used to go to the chiropodist and they would soak my feet in a tub of warm water, it was lovely....You don't do it anymore do you?

2. What is the difference between a Chiropodist and a Podiatrist?

3. I couldn't think of anything more horrible than working with peoples feet,
what on Earth made you choose this as a career?

3. Don't get old dear, it's not fun. (Dirr like we have a choice and the joke's old)

4. My toe hurts with the pressure of the bed sheets at night. (I believe them, but I can't believe the number of times I hear this comment.....Now I finish off the sentence if I can feel it coming.)

5. You must see some pretty horrible feet in your job.

6. How long is the Podiatry course?

7. My husband/wife had orthoses and they did absolutely nothing.

8. I'm not happy with my other Podiatrist, that is why I am seeing you.

9. Your parents are lucky..Do you do you mothers and fathers feet?

10. I want my nails cut as short as possible, they grow really fast.

11. I've tried everything on my heels, nothing works to stop them from cracking.



Pleasant comments that you hear over and over and over again:

1. I'll be able to go dancing tonight.

2. I'll have brand new feet after you've finished with them.

3. My feet feel fantastic after visiting the Podiatrist, I feel like I'm walking on air.

4. They feel better already (still sitting on treatment chair, not even halfway through treatment)

 

recptionist.....morning mrs j nice to see you..... but we dont seem to have you booked in today
check diary....its not till next week
patient ...no dear im sure its today....oh dear ive left my appt card at home....and my toe is very sore
yeh right !!!!!!!

 

EVERYTHING you have said I LOL'd - so so true every sentence! I hear one of those at least once a day esp working in aged care.

 

Patient presents with 10 brown encrusted toenails.

"I thought I was going to have to cancel. I've had terrible diarrhoea for the last 3 days...."

GB

 

Re: Things you never want to hear from patients

I tell them it's the glamour!

cheers
Greg

 

To the "It's no fun getting old" comment I always say....... " Well the alternative isn't any good either"

How about the 30kg overweight middle aged woman with plantar fasciitis who says

"I know my weight doesn't help but I have tried everything and can't lose any"

 

Oh i hear that! I had a patient with a persistant ulcer who kept telling me that if only her grandson lived nearby HE would be able to get it healed because he was a registered first aider!

Try this one. 10yo boy with mother
Me
"so whats the problem?"
mother
"he's got hypotania"
Me
"Ok, is he getting any symptoms?"
Mother
"his legs roll in"
Me
"Does he get any pain?"
Mother
"yes, from his hypotania"
me
"where?"
Mother
"all over. Its because his feet roll in"
Me
"when does it hurt"
Mother
"all the time"
Me, giving up on mother and talking to child.
"where do your legs hurt?"
Child
"they don't"
Mother
"yes they do, its your hypotania"
Child
"only when i walk really far"
Mother
"they hurt him every day. Can't you see how bad his legs roll in?"
Me
"Where does he complain of the pain?"
Mother
"all over. Its his hypotania"
me
"so he hurts all over, all the time"
Child
"No i don't"
Mother
"yes you do, its your hypotania"

Can anyone relate?

 

lol.... dealing with kids and parents can sometimes be very daunting (but very funny and amusing at times)

I remember once a child was seeking some 'attention' by faking foot pain because his mother was spending a lot of time mothering a newborn.....

"oh it hurts, when I walk *points to various different areas non specific in origin*"
"when does it hurt?"
"only after i jump on and kick the kids in the playground"
uhem!? lol
his mother and I exchange awkward silences
So just to get the game going during consultation (and feeling really sad that I was going to charge so much for a consultation for nothing in particular), I asked him to do a small walk.
But wait theres more! Instead of walking, he fakes a limp by limping on one side (then when he turns around, he limps on the unaffected opposite side).... which could have happened in reality if we really did have a slant in the corridor or there was a sudden minor earthquake in the room. But last time I checked it was at perfect 180 degrees, or close to it.

It's obviously nice to know when people lie about pain. It's just like they say, sometimes there's more in the head than you think.

 

True. I've got one who always kicks me in the shin then jumps crying into mums arms. I swear the next time he does that i'm chucking him out the window. If i'm in a good mood i'll open it first. If i'm in a REALLY good mood i'll arange to use the ground floor room that day.

But it must be said i have far more problems from parents than children.

Had a 6 year old with mild developmental delay in once with mum and nan in tow. Sweet kid, bit quiet and reserved. Very nervous. Spent a few minutes making ballon animals with latex gloves to get him comfortable before asking mum what the problem was. The reply...

"whell ee runs like a little spastic"



Poor kid.

 

at the other end of the spectrum i always know i'm in for a testing time when the patient is accompanied by the middle aged offspring who still refers to them as "mummy"

 

Bittie.

 

andy
agree , even hard one middle aged lady who called her mother mummy dearest ...every few seconds..SAD
enjoying all the comments on this thread heard most of them at least once
another is
my toenails always grow faster in summer....well true but how many times do we hear it ....oh hum

 

just had one of my all time fav's, after dressing one toe with melolin and tubegauz had the response "will i get my shoe on...?"

 

I had a patient once who asked if i could stretch her shoes. She wanted them wider. And longer. And Deeper. I suggested she buy a bigger pair,

"oh no dear i've always been a size 6!"

 

Patient; "These are the widest shoes they had, a eee fitting so they must fit my feet."

Podiatrist; "But madam, they are slip on and by their very design will squash your toes, and that is the cause of your problem"

Patient; "These are the widest shoes they had, a eee fitting so they must fit my feet."


Repeat ad nauseum

 

Or... 'oh its a little dolly' ...

 

I've also heard "but these are the most comfortable shoes I've ever worn" more times than I care to remember. In many cases this is probably true, as the rest of their shoes are even worse

I also love the patients who come to see you wearing their "chiropody shoes" - the ones they bought to stop you nagging at them to change their footwear. They only wear them to visit the clinic, and don't use them at any other time. If you are really lucky, you'll see the pair of stilletos in the handbag for them to change into....

Or how about (after you have asked them about the slip-on shoes they are wearing) "I only put these on as they are quick to get off"

I'm also told it's worth looking in the ladies loo after hours, as the bin is full of the pads and dressings that you so lovingly taped to their feet.

 

patient calling for 'information'

P: do you make orthotics that are based on a cast made during running???
me: No, That i don't do....
P: *hung up*
????

Ken

 

Pod: "i'm afraid those shoes are not very appropriate for your feet"

Pt: "well they must be, there very expensive you know"

another one:

Pod: "those shoes are to narrow for you feet"

Pt: "no there not, i've had these years and they are the most comfortable pair i've ever had"

Pod: "fair enough but the huge bulge from you bunion would beg to differ"

 

1." How much will my private health cover??" (idk ask the puffin muffins girl)
2. "The guy at the shoe store said my feet role out"
3. "can you reccomend a cream for it" (yes there is an anti-gravity cream for your heel pain, just ask for it at your local chemist, i think buzz lightyear is on the packet)
Steve

 

What do you mean that I have different sized feet. They were perfectly OK when I left home this morning

 

The OTHER podiatrist didn't do it like THAT !!
My foots hurts and I want it fixed now so I can abseil this arvo.
Are you qualified?....and...the classic...

DO YOU DO FEET?

Pete the PedOz

 

OMG...I was having a bad day before this thread, now that I can see there is no escape from the inane, repetetive conversations with patients anywhere in the world I feel like taking a long walk from a short pier!

Gotta love that student - autopsy comment...