Welcome to the Podiatry Arena forums

You are currently viewing our podiatry forum as a guest which gives you limited access to view all podiatry discussions and access our other features. By joining our free global community of Podiatrists and other interested foot health care professionals you will have access to post podiatry topics (answer and ask questions), communicate privately with other members, upload content, view attachments, receive a weekly email update of new discussions, access other special features. Registered users do not get displayed the advertisements in posted messages. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free so please, join our global Podiatry community today!

  1. Have you considered the Clinical Biomechanics Boot Camp Online, for taking it to the next level? See here for more.
    Dismiss Notice
Dismiss Notice
Have you considered the Clinical Biomechanics Boot Camp Online, for taking it to the next level? See here for more.
Dismiss Notice
Have you liked us on Facebook to get our updates? Please do. Click here for our Facebook page.
Dismiss Notice
Do you get the weekly newsletter that Podiatry Arena sends out to update everybody? If not, click here to organise this.

Things you never want to hear from podiatry patients

Discussion in 'Podiatry Trivia' started by Robertisaacs, Aug 29, 2007.

Tags:
  1. W J Liggins

    W J Liggins Well-Known Member

    British TV (Channel 4) has recently featured 'the wolf man'. This chap gave up everything, (including his wife - smart lady) to live with a wolf pack for 3 years. His communication with the pack is - to us - uncanny. When 'hunting' ( a pre-killed deer) he sustained a cut which was sutured at the local hospital. However, the pack insisted on removing the dressing and biting the sutures out whereupon they continually licked the wound. The wound was healed within a week.

    'New Scientist' has confirmed that enzymes have been discovered in wolf and dog saliva which do indeed accelerate healing markedly. However, given my German Shepherd's halitosis, I'll stick to sterile dressings thanks.

    Bill Liggins
     
  2. Nick Curry

    Nick Curry Active Member

    Hello Bill!!

    My grandmother used to talk of "fasting spittle". Used in the trenches during the Great war by soldiers to heal wounds. Apparently it only worked if you applied it before eating/drinking, first thing in the morning, hence, obviously, the fasting bit. used to sort out my grazed knees, anyway.

    S + F,

    Nick Curry
     
  3. tammy

    tammy Member

    1) Hello nurse!!!!

    I have a love hate relationship with this one:

    2) "are you qualified...you don't look old enough"
     
  4. Oh and one I had the other day at the aged care facility....

    Resident "You can't touch my feet. My doctor said I'm diabetic"
    Me: "Yes I'm a Podiatrist and I am qualified to treat your feet"
    Resident: "You can't touch my feet. The doctor said"
    Me: "Ok, but who will cut your toenails?"
    Resident: "Oh I'll just get my husband (who is half blind!!!) to do it for me"
     
  5. carol

    carol Active Member

    The problem with this thread is that when a client comes out with these gems it is very difficult to keep a straight face, thank goodness for face masks!!!!!
     
  6. Jacqui Walker

    Jacqui Walker Active Member

    This happened to me when a studying at Plymouth uni. Imagine the scene - 16 three sided cubicles (so we could be supervised) fully occupied. I call my patient, an 85 year old man, he totters down the line to my cubicle, accompanied by his equally aged wife. The conversation goes like this:
    Pt's wife: it will be really good for him to get his feet done today, as we are going out the lunch after, it's our anniversary.
    Me: Congratulations! How long have you been married? (expecting 50-60 years)
    Pt's wife: 5 years!!!
    Me: Oh, how lovely, were you both married before?
    Pt's wife: I was, but it's his first time (pointing to husband sitting smiling inanely).
    She contues: My friends pull my leg and say I BROKE HIM IN!
    :eek:What do you say, I ask you what do you say to that? I slid my chair out of the cubicle and looked up and down the row, to be greeted by 15 fellow student's all desperately trying not to laugh at what they had just overheard!!:D
     
  7. DTT

    DTT Well-Known Member

    Hi Jaquie

    Me ?

    Try ,

    Oh WELL DONE !! better late than never:))

    wait ( hand up to ear) yes ,yes ok control ,will doo...

    Congratultions to both of you!!

    I have just heard from big brother on the interweb and I am pleased to tell you ,

    because it is your anniversary...

    You have won a free months supply of viagra !!!

    If you take your podiatry appointment card to your GP he will supply your prize and please accept our best wishes and pass them on to your GP:D


    All students give a round of applause:D

    But then again.......

    I'm always in trouble:rolleyes:

    priceless aint they:D

    Cheers
    Derek;)
     
  8. GavinJohnston

    GavinJohnston Member

    I think your ****ty hip is caused by your leg length
    Thats funny...the chiropractor fixed my leg length last visit...
     
  9. Oh yes and I love it when they say " My Chiropractor said I need orthotics" and then proceed to say "Oh I didn't know you did those things, but don't worry he already sold me a pair."
     
  10. GavinJohnston

    GavinJohnston Member

    What about "doesnt everybody have a leg length difference"
     
  11. SarahR

    SarahR Active Member

    Re: Things you never want to hear from patients

    When people try and pull this one on me, I say "Sorry, I don't have my receipt book with me."

    Sometimes I put it in perspective, how would they feel if someone asked them to do their job, even just this once, for free?


    My favorite is definitely

    “Did you have to go to school for this dear?”

    Oh yes, for three years. Plus I have an undergraduate degree which took me four years (point to pretty framed diploma and degree on the wall, these are my main source of credibility it seems, and really only because the mats are embossed).

    Then the inevitable “Oh my, you must have started out so young, you can’t be much older than 20.” I’m 29 now, but apparently being viewed through cataracts takes off about 10 years!


    Sarah Robinson
    "Shiropodist" HaHaHa...
     
  12. DTT

    DTT Well-Known Member

    Hi SarahR


    Stock reply : "I'm a helicopter pilot , it's an up and down occupation I know but someone has to do it" and then walk away ( sometimes quickly:eek: )


    Do you reckon vision express could put a lens in the eye that could make me look 40 years younger ??............. oh ,

    ok then old I am and old I must stay:rolleyes:

    So...

    ENJOY BEING 29 AND THOUGHT OF AS 20 :drinks

    Bloody wish I waz;)

    Cheers Hun:D

    Derek;)
     
  13. HannahBoss

    HannahBoss Member

    "I always give it a rub when I'm in the bath."

    That's what my last patient told me.

    A few sentences later, I realised he was talking about a corn.

    At least, that's what he called it!!
     
  14. Fraoch

    Fraoch Active Member

    Re: Things you never want to hear from patients

    I've actually said "Sure, I'll go left handed" to pts, then watched them pale slightly as I proceed. THen after a while they notice something's different before announcing; "Oh, You're amphibious!! THat must be REALLY useful in your job. Is every podyatriss (???) amhpibious too?".
    Eh? Oh, you mean ambitdextrous. I've always been ambidextrous, and no I can't speak for the whole profession.
     
  15. Suzannethefoot

    Suzannethefoot Active Member

    I'm loving this!

    I do the proctologist one, it's my favorite.
     
  16. beekez

    beekez Active Member

    Last week I walked into a Nursing home to see a pt with a 1st MTPJ ulceration to be greeted with

    "Oh its the toenails man, look everybody the toenail man is here"

    Me: The name is Ben actually. Felt like saying oh its the bed-pan gang.:bang:

    Had this a lot lately too:

    "your girlfriend must be a lucky lady having someone to 'do her feet' all the time"

    Me: Thats not really my thing, she is perfectly capable of reaching her own nails by the way.
     
  17. domhogan

    domhogan Member

    don't feel so bad, when I attend one particular hospital, the Nursing Unit Manager yells out "Footrots here".
     
  18. beekez

    beekez Active Member

    AHAHAHAHA you have me there! :craig:
     
  19. Suzannethefoot

    Suzannethefoot Active Member

    At one nursing home I'm footie. Don't really mind that one, but, the foot fetish lady! GRRRR!
    One from this morning "Oh, I thought you were coming at 9.15, so I've done them myself!!!!

    Another favorite, new patient, longstanding NV corn, poised over them with the scalpel...
    "I'm really ticklish, you won't mind if my foot jumps about a bit will you?" !!!
     
  20. Sammo

    Sammo Active Member

    My aunt always says whenever i say I am coming to a family gathering...

    "Ooh good, we can all have foot massages this weekend!"

    ..and when I say, well actually I don't do foot massages she looks upset and say..

    "well what DO you do??"

    nnnggggghhhhhhffffffffppppp


    :bang::bang::bang::bang::bang::bang:
     
  21. Billquiet

    Billquiet Member

    Hello to all, this is my first posting and depending on the reaction it may be my last.

    Female patient presented stating that her feet are so sensitive that it is almost painful for anyone to touch her feet (and for once this statement turned out to be true).

    During the course of the treatment (between grimaces, whimpers and flinches from the patient) she did manage to say that there was only one time that she could comfortably allow someone to touch her feet.

    "Oh yes? When is that?" I so innocently enquired.

    She replied (with a straight face), "Right after I orgasm!".

    What was my response you ask? I blushed, changed the subject and finished as quickly as possible.
     
  22. Craig Payne

    Craig Payne Moderator

    Articles:
    8
    :welcome: ... we really are gentle around here...
    Its almost the opposite of this:
     
  23. "well I won't mind, how will you feel about the site of blood?"

    LOL. I love these. Especially the orgasm one. Wouldn't be the first time I've been sexually harassed by an octenegarian!

    I rather enjoy it actually ;-) brightens up a dull clinic..

    Regards
    Robert bigalo
     
  24. How about "sorry but the lady who just left would be devasted if I offered that treatment to anyone else"
     
  25. pommypod

    pommypod Member

    ;actually shes my wife not my daughter'
     
  26. pommypod

    pommypod Member

    "that last one was usless' or

    :dizzy:'no it was defiantely a man last time"(looking back in notes it was you) and your female.

    The classic "yes I do take tablets they are round and white and in the packet at home"
     
  27. :D

    " and there is a little number on them, you know the ones. Don't you learn about medication at shiropody school?"

    Regards
    Robert
     
  28. Mint80

    Mint80 Welcome New Poster

    My favourite is when visiting nursing homes and you ask for the residents to be moved to their room for treatment and you get the response: Can't you do it in the lounge with the others? They just got a cup of tea!

    Doh...
     
  29. Bignectar

    Bignectar Member

    With a deadly serious face a patient asked me " I get a really sweaty groin..maybe my feet are out of alignment and affecting my sweat glands..Do i need orthotics?" im not joking....

    Also a few years ago worked in a clinic and the owner had a picture of his 16 year old son on the desk. Always got asked, "is that your son?" I was 25 at the time, and i thought it was obvious i was too young to have 16 yr old son..
     
  30. moggy

    moggy Active Member

    true story

    I went to BBQ at a friend's house and a couple of famous people were there(small time unfortunatley not Brad Pitt) this girls brother in law comes up to me and shouts (he was drunk) 'your the foot lady aren't you', street cred completely damaged and said famous people moving away from me I told him I was - he proceeds to get his foot out of his 'Jesus' sandall and asks me to look at this Verrucae. I inform the chap that I do not want to see his foot as I am off duty - he persists and then I tell him I will charge him £30 for advice - he walks off sheepishly. About half an hour later he returns with £30 in change - turns out he had a whip round - unbelieveable is there no escape from these bloody people????:deadhorse:
     
  31. LMAO!!!!

    I wonder if proctologists have this problem. :rolleyes:

    R
     
  32. moggy

    moggy Active Member

    sorry am a bit of a philistine and haven't got the 'text talk' waht is LMOA - (SORRY TYPING IS ALSO A BIT CRAP!!) I wonder if gynaecologists get this problem?
     
  33. urbandictionary.com will help with all your translation needs. You need to be daan wif da youf init. ;)
     
  34. twirly

    twirly Well-Known Member

    Ah Moggy I'm guessing you have no teens in your house:

    LMAO = laugh my arse off
    ROFL = roll on floor laughing
    FFS! = for f**ks sake!
    PMSL = LMAO with urinary incontinance

    There are many, many more ;)

    ttfn,

    Mandy
     
  35. blinda

    blinda MVP


    Don`t forget WTD

    (What The Deuce?!)




    -
     
  36. chelle6018

    chelle6018 Welcome New Poster

    Great thread

    While working in a subsidisec clinic.

    PT:$20? That's $2 for each nail.

    After hearing this may times I tell them that they can arrange their own podiatrist to visit them which will cost around $60.

    In a diabetes clinic:

    Pt: I used to have sugar but it's better now!

    It's a miracle!!!

    Elderly pt: How old do you think I am?
    Me: I know you are 70 I just read your record card!!


    People thing we must love feet so much we want to look at them all the time.
    At my grandfathers funeral, my great aunt takes her shoes off and starts to tell me all about her sore foot and bunions. Really is this the time and place?!

    My dad had complained of heel pain for some month (I live away so hadn't seen him in a while). On my next visit home I prescrible many things to help, the major one being to tie his shoe laces, due to sore knees he had been leaving them loose. Nothing changed until6 months later I spoke with my dad.
    Dad: It's amazing I found a cure for my feet. I did my laces up tighter now my feet are so much better.
    Me: Oh!
    Even my parents don't think I have a credible qualification, knowledge, experience....
     
  37. Teash13

    Teash13 Member

    I hate
    1. Any chance you can do my fingernails while I am here.
    2. Clients who state they can reach their feet to cut their toenails but still manage to reach down and check that you have cut them smoothly!
    3. "I need orthotics"
     
  38. Julian Head

    Julian Head Active Member

    from a patient just yesterday who I issued Penicillin to for an infected IGTN......

    "Allergies? medication? Surgical history.....? Why do you need to know that? I'm only here for my toenail.....So I need to see my doctor for antibiotics do I?"

    NO!!!

    So I gave him the Penicillin with a large dose (at least a 3 minute lecture...) of education on Podiatrists training, why we are independent practitioners NOT nurses (love that sentence), oh and we do the surgery for IGTNs not the orthopaedic Surgeon......

    The issuing of drugs bit has made a difference.....hasn't it?

    :)
     
  39. :D Love it.

    :mad:

    I get that one a lot with infernal* referrals. "the doctor said you'd measure me for some insoles" is my favorite. :butcher:

    Regards
    Robert

    *not a typo.
     
  40. louise

    louise Member

    This was more a case of things you never want to hear from a patients relative!! Went to visit a lady at home- knocked at the door. Whist waiting, a suited chap came over from the church across the road (where a funeral was just finishing) asking if he could help. Stated i was here to see Mrs ??- he apologised saying he was sorry, he'd just been at the funeral. I said oh don't worry i'll visit again some other day, thinking she was also attending. He looked at me for a few seconds before saying- you don't understand, i was at her funeral, she died last week!! What a dork i am!!!
     
Loading...

Share This Page