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Upgrading to a wife

Discussion in 'Break Room' started by NewsBot, Aug 26, 2008.

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  1. NewsBot

    NewsBot The Admin that posts the news.

    Articles:
    1

    Members do not see these Ads. Sign Up.
    This is an oldy, but still a goody:
     
  2. drsarbes

    drsarbes Well-Known Member

    Dear NewsBot:

    I have found that in addition:
    If you do use the UNINSTALL software initiating the Alimony-Child support program then Wife v1.0 will also automatically run the EXWIFE v1.4 program.

    EXWIFE 1.4 is designed to delete 50% of all holdings in Quicken Checkbook and Quicken Invest as well as the auto phone dial feature that runs daily after 1AM.

    The DEMAND RESOURCES v3.01 is another autoProgram that installs itself upon uninstalling Wife v1.0. Demand Resources v3.01 is an unrelenting program that not only keeps tract of all cash on hand, bank accounts, real estate equity and payroll but demands, through it's sister program FrigginLawyer v6.0 75-85% of all resources.

    You do not want to have to deal with these programs.


    Steve
     
  3. davidh

    davidh Podiatry Arena Veteran


    Good one Steve:D
     
  4. davidh

    davidh Podiatry Arena Veteran

    I also liked this one......

    It is important for men to remember that, as women grow older, it becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as when they were younger. When you notice this, try not to shout at them. Some are over-sensitive and there's nothing worse than an over-sensitive woman.
    My name is Ron. Let me relate how I handled the situation with my wife, Ronilda. When I took early retirement last year, it became necessary for to get a full-time job for the extra income that we need. Shortly after she started working, I noticed she was beginning to show her age. I now usually get home from the pub about the same time she gets home from work. Although she knows how hungry I am, she nearly always says she has to rest for half an hour or so before she starts dinner. I don't shout at her, instead I tell her to take her time and just wake me when she gets dinner on the table. I generally have lunch at the pub so eating out again is out of the question; I'm ready for some home cooked food when I get in.
    She used to do the dishes as soon as we finished eating. But now it's usual for them to sit on the table for several hours after dinner. I do what I can by diplomatically reminding her several times each evening that they won't clean themselves. I know she really appreciates this, as it does seem to motivate her to get them done before she goes to bed. Another symptom of ageing is complaining. For example, she will say that it is difficult for her to do the shopping during her lunch hour. But we take them for better or worse, so I just smile and offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out over two or even three days. That way she won't have to rush so much. I also remind her that missing lunch completely now and then won't hurt her. I like to think tact is one of my strong points.
    When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more rest periods. She has to take a rest when she has only half finished mowing the lawn and several extra breaks when she's vacuuming through the house. It does annoy me, vacuuming when I'm trying to watch 'Match of the Day', but I try not to make a scene. I'm a fair man. I tell her to make herself a nice cup of tea and just sit for a while, and as long as she is making one for herself, she may as well make one for me too. I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support Ronilda. I'm not saying that showing this much consideration is easy. Many men will find it difficult. Some will find it impossible! Nobody knows better than I do how frustrating women get as they get older.
    However, even if you just use a little more tact and less criticism of your ageing wife because of this article, I will consider that writing it was well worthwhile. After all, we are put on this earth to help each other.
     
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