Lightbulbs

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I was bored

How many Physio’s does it take to change a lightbulb?

They don’t actually change lightbulbs any more. They give the lightbulb some stretches and strengthening exercises and possibly a course of ultrasound and expect it should improve

How many Nurses does it take to change a lightbulb?

We’re not allowed to change lightbulbs, we’ll do a referral though.

How many people who really understand biomechanics does it take to change a lightbulb?

All 6

How many NHS managers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Around 70 and it’ll take about 2 years and cost £500 000. Then in 3 years time they’ll decide it needs changing again and repeat the process (whether the bulb is blown or not). Then in 3 more years etc etc

How many FHPs does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just one. And they’ll charge less than a Podiatrist and do just as good a job! Honest!

How many Scho*l Podiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just one. But it’ll take 45 minutes by the time they’ve given the new bulb a bath and tried to sell it an Orthotic

How many MASS Theorists does it change a lightbulb.

We don’t change lightbulbs any more! That paradigm is outdated and doesn’t work anyway. 99.8% of rooms get lighter faster and better by setting fire to the sofa! It’s a shame that the profession is so hung up on the whole lightbulb theory that they won’t accept that the science has moved on. Naturally you need to do our course to learn how to set fire to sofa’s correctly.

How many “proprioception” theorists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Actually evidence which we will publish any day now shows that changing lightbulbs doesn’t actually work! By stretching a piece of wire over the points the fitting gets the proprioceptive feedback that the bulb is there and lights up the room itself without that tiresome and outdated bulb business! Not only that but we have discovered that this method of lighting up a room also cleans the room, redecorates the room, stops dry rot, kills termites and woodworm and builds a loft extension (unlike the lightbulb). Moreover we have also discovered that 85 % of dark rooms suffer from the Rathbort room type, a previously undiscovered type of darkness which can only be cured by applying the wire to the fitting.

How many “biomechanic consultants” does it take to change a lightbulb.

Here at Porvish and ball we cure 98.9865% of dark rooms instantly. £1000 may seem a lot to spend on a new bulb but our bulbs are special. We even have a rogues gallery of other types of bulbs which are all rubbish! OUR bulbs are made by computer controlled Robots in America and shipped over direct to us. Nobody else can make these bulbs. What do you mean there’s a bunch of empty tesco’s basic 50 watt boxes in the bin outside? There must be some mistake!

 

There is of course, the old one about how many country and western singers does it take to change a light bulb - seven - one to change the bulb and the other six to sing about the death of the old one.