I want a new job

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I'm bored. Can anyone offer me a new job? I'm interested in biomechanics.

 

Plymouth uni are advertising for a `Professor of Biomechanics and Podiatry`, but I guess you already got the t-shirt.

 

I e-mailed yesterday and sent my C.V. to the Prof. in charge. I quote some of his response to me: "Although there are no hard and fast rules, I would typically expect a successful application for a Chair to be based on at least 40 strong publications, exceptional levels of grant income and clear international recognition."

In other words, son you ain't got enough publications and haven't brought loads of money to a University through grants, so it's a NO from them.

Any others?

 

Can you iron?

 

I can actually, but I won't stand there and do it in any of your northern fancy gear- bow tie, thong, flat cap, ferret. What you paying?

 

You could open a Foot Solutions/minimalist footwear store/laundry...trifecta!

 

....and probably make way more $ doing so! :santa: :craig:

 

Simon,

Am I sensing a mid-life crisis here?

Can you spell out what you mean by "bored".

I am sure we can all help to get you through it?

I mean this as seriously or as unseriously as you want to take it but rest assured youv'e got world-wide support (as long as you don't ask us for any money).

Best wishes,

Bill

PS I am not sure how old you are Simon but I always think that 50 is a dangerous age for a man. Everything gets thrown into question and comes out as burnout, breakdown, the change, temporary madness. Then again maybe you are simply bored but that's not as exciting for the onlooker.

 

Bill, I'm 42 and I'm not convinced its the answer to the question regarding the life, the universe and everything, even if hitchhikers guide says otherwise. Just would like to do a bit more than what I'm currently doing. Fancy a bit more research, maybe some r and d, some toys to play with, maybe some more teaching. Summarily, I don't really feel stretched in private practice. Sure it has it's moments, but a change is as good a wink to a blind man (no, that's a different sketch: your wife, does she go?? Etc)

 

Say no more

 

Bel,

If Simon is serious I'm not too sure your post is helpful.

As someone who had had a number of successful and less successful ventures I would be happy to share, if its a joke because it's in the break room and he has got the Professors job, bad taste but congratulations.

Joe

 

I need a receptionist. The pay is rubbish and my current receptionist is getting sick of being sexually harassed by the orthotist(my wife before you all cry foul)

You would also have to like liver to come here. You would be most welcome however as I have heard that the biomechanics guy needs some teaching

 

Aloha Simon,

When you are done washing your hair you could go about proving the Null-Hypothesis that there is no faster-lighter-safer orthotic on the planets than the Kingetics Spring Orthotic Device.

When/if you are successful with this simple task i would gladly offer you a position field testing the technology on our beautiful Hawaiian beaches,, or you could work as our public relations liaison.

A hui hou,
Steve

Kingetics- Making the less ambled The More Ambled...TM:drinks

 

Simon, sorry mate, no help here, we counted 32 different 'jobs' i've had before podiatry. Worst was factory work, contemplating which finger to sacrifice to get me out and the physically hardest definitely brickies labourer. Gardening was good, taxi-driving interesting, hamburger chef (i lost weight), post office clerk toooo many cranky ol' women customers (and i never balanced), theatre orderly a mix of boring, interesting, heavy lifting (before slide boards), nursing again too much lifting, pay clerk eassyyyy but booooorrrrrriiiinnnngggg, truck driver (until i wiped out a safety fence), library assistant (didn't mind that one got a lot of offtime), student teacher g*d no would've been fired first day if i ever had made it through, multiple uni student (10 tertiary courses began for 1 complete), mower of lawns (nowhere as good as gardening), builders labourer (no where as physical as brickies), letterbox deliverer (got fit and developed a HAV very quickly), can't think of the others but no simon sorry mate, you'd be a bl**dy interesting teacher, if a pod teaching school could have you and Messrs Fuller and Kirby also now that would've been worth turning up to lessons!

 

You got the first part of your statement correct:

null
   [nuhl]
adjective
1.
without value, effect, consequence, or significance.
2.
being or amounting to nothing; nil; lacking; nonexistent

You need to prove there is a valid hypothesis to test first Steve, how's that working out for you amigo?

I'm anticipating Simon's response to this condescending proposition....

 

Sorry, I'm gouging out my own eye-balls and replacing them with hot-toffee apples tonight, which should be infinitely more pleasurable than reading anymore of your pish.

You can't manage me on an internet chat-room, how on earth do you think you'd be able to manage me face to face? I'd test electric cattle prods on my own genitalia on the beautiful beaches of Tipton before I'd be interested in taking an unpaid job teaching you research methods 101 and how to make your own dog-**** idea into something more than a drawing. But thanks for the offer.

 

Appears I have peed myself just a little....

I've been tinkering with an idea recently and if you're really bored Simon I'd appreciate some help in the design of a clinical trial. I promise it won't be as hair brained as kevlar & springs underfoot....

 

Hey Simon,

How about partnering up with Kevin and designing your own over the counter orthotics? If it takes off, you can spend more time lecturing (your an exceptional speaker and exude passion) and doing more research.

I would think you would have a good shot at a university position if they got to know you. I can see you being bored, you need to be challenged and be surrounded by other people that you can be inspired from.

How about applying to companies like Nike and New Balance? Hope you find your way.

Steven

 

Send me an e-mail with your idea, David.

 

Yeah, have thought about this.

 

Try a new hobby first; might be enough to stop the itch without relocating and giving up what you've built.

S

 

Aloha Simon,

I will take that as a tentative "NO" on the paid research and design position and a strong maybe on the Public Relations Liaison and Customer Service job.

A Hui Hou,
Steve

Kingetics- Coloring Rainbows on the White Flags In Surrender...TM

:empathy:

 

I've been thinking lately, that being a person who is liked and trusted by many elderly patients, we are in an excellent situation to set up a business to help elderly people who want to move from large family homes to retirement flats or similar, but don't have the energy or wherewithal to organise it themselves.
They would need valuers, estate agents, solicitors, house clearance etc, then cleaners, gardeners.
Carpenters, etc for the new accommodation.
It could be very challenging and rewarding, not least financially.
Just a thought. Liz

 

I have wanted a new job a few times. I left private practice in 1979 to a UK health service managers position for 12 months, and then started teaching; have taught in various places ever since, until "retirement". I guess the bottom line is - whenever I have wanted a new job, I have done exactly that. Why not do, exactly that? Rob

 

Hi Simon,:empathy:

The last time I got fed up with my job:craig:, I took myself off to uni to learn to be a podiatrist! Just passed my finals!!

Truly though, if you are bored do something else - if you don't, neither you nor your patients will get the best out of things. You could consider a new/different hobby as a small change may be easier than a huge change - I started baking on the run up to the finals to maintain my sanity it takes concentration and is technical yet not too much.

I know that UoB are looking for a couple of senior lecturers but that is probably a) too far away for you and b) less than you are wanting.

Good luck with whatever you choose,
Nonie

 

Fair play, I LMAO :drinks

 

Never mind a new job - 15 years of NHS management - I just want out but with an offer I can't refuse (that's about 12s 9d at the moment). The level of the brown stuff that's pouring onto us clinical leads at the moment with all the health service changes is rising exponentially, and there is no end in sight. It is of little comfort that I have not spoken to any other NHS manager (podiatry and others) who thinks any differently.

Oh for the days when you could complete a couple of clinics, make patients happy and feel that you've achieved something.

 

I'm thinking of joining the senior PGA Golf tour, although I'm fast approaching being too old even for this.

I will need a caddy.

Pay is 10% of what I make.
You also pay 50% of my cost of playing, travel, meals, etc.....until such time as I win some $$$$.

In the end you can assume, since I'm not THAT good, to pay me perhaps $25,000 US a year, depending on where I stay and how much I can eat and drink. The "tour" will take us all over the US, we will travel extensively!

How does that sound?

BTW: you can study my swing biomechanics - no extra charge.

Steve

 

Sorry steve, I've got the salmon and trout right now I'm struggling to walk 18 feet, never mind 18 holes: http://www.podiatry-arena.com/podiatry-forum/showthread.php?t=79539

Plus, as we all know, golf really is sh!t.

 

Professional 'Spooner' ?!

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/a...ving-snuggling--60-hour-pay-hug-stranger.html

 

FYI, a "spooner" was a repairer of thatched roofs. Weird- I just realised that one of my first jobs was as a roofers labourer. But I reckon I could be up for this job though. Doubtful that the Mrs would support me in this.

 

Hello Simon,
Apologies for my ignorance, but I don't know what your job is. Are you in private practice or academia? What do you dislike about your job? What parts do you like? Maybe you could take some time out and travel or concentrate on a hobby - something to take your mind away from work. You might find that it will help you to focus on what you want to do and what has a chance of making you happy rather than focussing on what you do not enjoy or are bored of?
I assume most people feel the same from time to time. I do. I enjoy aspects of my job, but I am not so keen on others. The monotony of working in the NHS can be quite wearing and I am less tolerant as the years advance. Private practice enables me to have greater freedom to work the way I prefer and allows me to enjoy life outside of work, but it is still work nonetheless.
You could do your surgery training if you fancied a change?
Bob

 

Hi Si

Glasgow Caladonian Uni were advertising a Biomx professorship on here a little while ago. From memory you have the right qualifications and R & D was part of the deal.
Might be worth an ask ??
Good Luck
D

 

These turned up in my alerts this AM:

• 10 Psychological Techniques to Help You Get a New Job
• 7 Easy Ways to Give Your Résumé the Psychological Edge
• 10 Psychological Keys to Job Satisfaction
• Why Career Planning Is Time Wasted
• Ten Powerful Steps to Negotiating a Higher Salary
• Why Teamwork is Overrated
• Can You Get Things Done Without Making People Hate You?
• 7 Ways Work Can Make You Physically Sick
• The Problem With Narcissistic Leaders
• 7 Reasons Leaders Fail
• How To Be a Great Leader (in under 300 words)

 

Have a position for an assistant for a month - just had two pro golfers in today (not to mention Tiger's personal assistant yesterday) as the first hole at Royal Lytham is less than a nine iron from the surgery - and then it's back to the Premiership pre-season screening next week until the beginning of August. Can't promise a fistfull of dollars but the hotel that I use for accomodating locums is bursting at the seams with sluttly pole-dancers for the next few weeks......

 

Go On Griff find the time !!
Tiger woods and the rest :drinks

You can take spooner as your assistant if you ask him nicely and show him the "Auld Game" first hand

Well done Mark:drinks

Enjoy
Cheers
D

 

More like "on the game" if Mr Spooner were involved.

 

Simon

How about researching the effect of increasing amounts of Newcastle Brown on Postural Sway?

 

I'm going to Newcastle soon for a stag weekend. I haven't walked "the dog" in that sense for a long time, only in the literal sense these days.