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Why did the chicken cross the road?

Discussion in 'Break Room' started by admin, Jul 12, 2006.

  1. LMAO

    Hows this.

    Should chickens be ALLOWED to cross the road without doing a 3 year degree in road crossing

    That foot site
    Absolutly NOT!!! Those chickens are not qualified to cross the road and will inevitably be hit by an oncoming car which will both kill the chicken and, more importantly, damage the car who was not protected from unqualified chickens due to poor legislation and only patial closure of the profession. Anyone who helps these chickens cross the road is just as guilty as the people who took their corn for an inadequate course in road crossing and should be flogged.

    Look. The chickens are going to try to cross the road regardless to justify the £££s they spent on their road crossing course (which was perhaps a little inadequate). Would'nt it be better to try to help them across the road thus saving both them and the cars from damage? A chicken who has been successfully crossing the road for 30 years may have picked up a few skills in road crossing during that time.

    CP on Pod arena

    All in fun ;)

  2. :D

    Martin harvey.
    But Robert, I've been watching chickens cross roads for 20 years. The fact is that evidence or no evidence the chicken clearly DOES cross the road. Is it fair to deny chickens the opportunity to cross the road just because i don't fully understand the mode of action for WHY the chicken crossed the road?
  3. Dido

    Dido Active Member

    Are you sure it was in fact a chicken and not a capon or a pullet ?:confused:

    If it was a blind chicken, then it was certainly crossing the road to get to the Bird's Eye shop. :D


    PS Did the chicken pronate while it was crossing, indicating that it was not designed to walk on tarmac??
    Last edited: Apr 1, 2008
  4. markjohconley

    markjohconley Well-Known Member

    Is this the same chicken we've been discussing for 18/12?
    I feel for this chicken, I really, really do.
    Does this chicken have a Name? He/She at least deserves this courtesy! I would like to know who exactly we're dealing with, right? Kevin. Let's be civil, we are podiatrists after all.
    And let's not muck around let's get to the bottom of this:
    - does this chicken have a criminal record?
    - does this chicken watch "Survivor"?
    - does this chicken support Ukraine's attempt to enter NATO?
    - who were this chicken's parents?
    - does this chicken have any other aspirations, apart from "crossing the (friggin') road"
    And why is it a "chicken" who attempted this monumental task? why not consider why an extra-terrestrial or Simon Spooner would want to??
    And finally, BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY, does BKelly11 consider this chicken a likely candidate for daily mirror self-examinations??
  5. bkelly11

    bkelly11 Active Member

    yes it sure is M J
  6. David Smith

    David Smith Well-Known Member

    Re: ..and in the wider world


    Only just read this -- BRILLIANT!!:drinks

    LoL Dave
  7. Yes, for jay walking.

    Depends which side of the road the tv shop is.

    Whilst the chicken is keen to embrace the Ukraines desire to join the western democracys of europe it has deep concerns about the encroachment of nato into what was previously the warsaw pact and the potential re-emergance of the cold war occasioned by this, especially in the context of the contraversial "missile sheild" dispute.

    Another chicken. Or possibly an egg. No one really knows.

    The primary aspiration of the chicken is NOT to cross the road as the implication is that it has already done so. Its true goal is to acheive enlightenment be understanding WHY it crossed the road. When it acheives this understanding it will acheive nirvana (not the band).

    Interesting. It is assumed that the question "why did the chicken cross the road" refers to the crossing of the road as the subject of the enquiry. Perhaps we are looking at this all wrong, maybe its a given that the road was crossed and the true question is why it was a chicken and not an extra terrestrial or, indeed, simon spooner.

    Could it be that Simon Spooner crosses roads quite often and thus it is a much less interesting question than why a chicken (who cross roads fairly infrequently) might wish to do it.

    No idea. Perhaps bkelly11 should answer that question.

    Sorry. Feeling whimsical today.

    On the z- side of the road where x+ is the direction of highest traffic flow (thanks dave, i can express myself more accuratly now. )
  8. For the record, I don't believe that I've ever truly crossed a road, but none-the-less a few of them seem ****** off with me for no apparent reason. I don't know why, maybe it's because I point out the flaws in their arguments which forces them to re-think their ideas and doubt their own adequacy and ability. These feelings then surface as aggression on their part. Thus, ultimately the roads become cross with themselves over their lack of knowledge-base, intellect and reading. So did the chicken cross the road, or is this just another case of the road crossing itself?

    Fraud, come over here. I have question for you....
    Last edited: Apr 7, 2008
  9. markjohconley

    markjohconley Well-Known Member

    I will muse on these thoughts for eternity (or at least till morning tea ... mmm pastries),
    thankyou oh wise ones,

    but you got to admit Robert, if S Spooner announced he was about to "cross" a road (any road) most people, not just our podiatric peers, would sit up and take notice, I certainly would, why is simon crossing? should I? that ENGLISH bloke knows something else I don't!
  10. NewsBot

    NewsBot The Admin that posts the news.

  11. NewsBot

    NewsBot The Admin that posts the news.

    This is an old thread, but this version is doing the rounds:
  12. This thread deserves a bump, its been quiet a while, there are some newer contributors who have not been "chickened" and some older ones who have altered somewhat and deserve re chickening!

    Why I'm not sure brian has been chickened has he?

    Dr Sha

    For years chickens have been crossing the road with little actual success. I have devised an RCT (road / chicken Typing) system which allows a clinician to easily and repeatably describe the best way for the chicken to cross the road. At last we have realised that chickens want more than to simply GET ACROSS the road, they want to do it in the most efficient and effective way possible.

    The types are

    Rhode Island white

    Jersey giant


    Back street

    Main Road



    So each situation can be drawn from a grid of 12 RCTs with specific treatment protocols for each.

    Use of this system also allows us to prevent Road Related Illness and injury from ever taking place by offering it to birds who never intended to cross the road!


    WELCOME to this side of the road. We hope you enjoy it here.

    Simon Spooner

    You're assuming the Chicken DID cross the road. Did it? Got any evidence eh?

  13. twirly

    twirly Well-Known Member

    I cannot help that my ' incarcerated chicken free' slush is half full. Try as I might I attempt to view each & every fowl in their own cage,barn,free range environment. I am happy. I cannot help it. Try as I might I cannot see a bird caged or clipped. Let them fly free I say......... :pigs:

    Free :pigs::pigs:

    <sobs into hanky> :pigs:

    <sniff> freeeeeedom :empathy:

    So this crossing of road post. Is it still open? :confused:
  14. Didn't know you were Canadian, Robert!;)
  15. Freeman

    Freeman Active Member

    this is not a chicken, its tastier than a chicken, and it did not make it across the road.
    You might be a redneck if your best meal of the winter is brought to you by the Ford Motor compay s518154371_1546354_1995578.jpg
  16. Don't know what you're talking aboot!;)
  17. footdrcb

    footdrcb Active Member

    Another possibility .... My mother cooks me chicken, her chicken makes me cough....I wished that when she cooked it she took the feathers off !!!!! Live and let that chicken cross that road ...
  18. Catfoot

    Catfoot Well-Known Member

  19. Catfoot

    Catfoot Well-Known Member

    Me too...;)

    truly, cross-my-heart-and-hope-to-die, :rolleyes:

    Robert, you seem to have had a very sheltered life ??

  20. Yeah! Where I come from we eat chickens! And shellfish come to that. I'm waiting for you to give me a link to the sancturary for distressed moths or something. ;)
  21. footdrcb

    footdrcb Active Member


    To avoid this !!!
  22. Catfoot

    Catfoot Well-Known Member

    It's in the "to do" pile along with "rights for whitebait" :D

  23. Perthpod

    Perthpod Active Member

    Cameron: To demonstrate to second year chooks - how the malechook gait pattern changes when a boychook wears ladychook Manolos on asphalt - and just how damn good it feels ;D
  24. How things change.

    I think if we asked Simon why the chicken crossed the road these days the answer would be along the lines of:-

    "Why do YOU think the chicken crossed the road? How do chickens work."
  25. RobinP

    RobinP Well-Known Member

    Mike Weber Heir's some reeding for ewe Chicken Jokes

    Robert Isaacs....it depends....;) (although that one could apply to others, myself included)

    Dana Reouche Your evidence for the road crossing is weak and until you try going barefoot like the chicken, then you can't say anything. Have you read Born to Peck?

    Ian Griffiths
    I'm far too busy playing golf in the middle of the week to answer this question.

    Ian Griffiths(after his golf) He's a cock!

    Catfoot OMG!!! Perhaps the chicken should be seeking the advice of whichever unregulated body is responsible for it's unrecognised road crossing qualification instead of asking on an internet forum.

    Kevin Kirby In 25 years of observing chickens crossing the road.........heel striking in chicken running flats...I used to cross the road in 2.22 secs when I was a college

    Something tells me I'm going to regret this:boxing:
  26. ....to dance to "Love Machine"......

    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 22, 2016
  27. blinda

    blinda MVP

    RobinP to avoid the deviant chickens....OMG, that cock has a tail!
  28. rachel.liminton

    rachel.liminton Active Member

    My chickens would only cross the road for food......plain and simple....my humble feathered friends lay the best of eggs and trust me implicitly..........we all do things because we trust that some one else will keep us safe and feed us with the correct and proper info............just like pod arena..:santa:
  29. Bless.

    If pod arena served food it would be like an old school canteen. Some good stuff, some bad stuff, and a bloody great fight in the corner.
  30. rachel.liminton

    rachel.liminton Active Member

    That's reassuring....so love a bun fight......free for all....woooop......I just don't want my chickens for lunch....i would have no eggs to feed my guests...lol..
  31. Lois_B

    Lois_B Member

    Why did the chicken cross the road?
    The age-old question which tries to find a plausible reason as to why the chicken did cross the road, and failing that presenting a subsequent 'joke' which more often than not results in a long and awkward silence. Let us examine this question; Why did the chicken cross the road, with stress on the words why, chicken and road. The most interesting part to the question is the means and where the chicken 'crosses'
    We are apparently not at all interested in how,where,with whom the chicken crosses this 'road' and also why the chicken feels compelled to cross only this one road; Why did the chicken not cross the pavement? Why did he not cross the galaxy? The standard, or most common answer, is 'to get to the other side' however, unless we personally interview the chicken in question, we cannot truly identify the reason(s) as to crossing the road. He could have seen another chicken that he wanted to talk to, or maybe he saw some food that he took a particular interest in. Answering this question from the point-of-view that the chicken didn't know that he was crossing any road, we could assume that something scared him e.g. a human or fox.
    This follows to another question; Why was a chicken allowed to venture near a road, which are notoriously dangerous? Were the owners careless enough to leave the pen open? We have already covered the question of the chicken seeing something that interested it, but he could have just randomly wandered over the road, as chickens do and is their right to.
    Which brings yet another question; did he simply cross it? He could have zig-zagged or done a few circles in the middle before flying off at a tangent, which just so happened to be the other side. For all we know, the chicken in question could have done the cha-cha-slide across whilst being in a circus show directed by Derren Brown.
    To conclude; there is no simple answer unless we interviewed chickens which is technically impossible. However, we can draw the simple conclusion and say it was just to get to the other side.
  32. Orthican

    Orthican Active Member

    "Why did the chicken cross the road?"

    Quite obvious really......it's shorter than going around...:D
  33. Dr Toe

    Dr Toe Member

    Because he needed to update his facebook profile and his android phone was on the other side?

    (facebook entry) "Hey I raced the egg to get across the road and I won! The Chicken came first!!"

    Also, as to animals and crossing, did anyone see or hear THIS (youtube link)?
    Last edited: May 9, 2013
  34. blinda

    blinda MVP

    Been a long time since the birth of this thread. It`s about time Mark gave us an up-to-date version on posters/authors 2006 - 2013....
  35. normy

    normy Member

    because the chick across the road was egging him on!!!!!:
  36. Craig Payne

    Craig Payne Moderator

    This image reminded me of this thread!

    Attached Files:

  37. NewsBot

    NewsBot The Admin that posts the news.

    Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

    SARAH PALIN: The chicken crossed the road because, gosh-darn it, he's a maverick!

    BARACK OBAMA: Let me be perfectly clear, if the chickens like their eggs they can keep their eggs. No chicken will be required to cross the road to surrender her eggs. Period.

    JOHN McCAIN: My friends, the chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.

    HILLARY CLINTON: What difference at this point does it make why the chicken crossed the road?

    GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or against us. There is no middle ground here.

    DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?

    BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken.

    AL GORE: I invented the chicken.

    JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

    AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white?

    DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he is acting by not taking on his current problems before adding any new problems.

    OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross the road so badly. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a NEW CAR so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

    ANDERSON COOPER: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

    NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

    PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

    MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way the chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

    DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

    ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.

    GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

    BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heartwarming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.

    ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

    BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2014, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken2014. This new platform is much more stable and will never reboot.

    ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

    COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?
  38. Why did the chicken cross the road?

    Because it was a thoughtful and smart and a good egg.

    Attached Files:

  39. Why did the chicken cross the road?

    To avoid the queue at Rothbart's Covid-Cure Store - the 2020 coated insole direct from Italy. "Kills the virus, gets you pregnant, grows new teeth, cures MND - all for $2,999.99 "

    Dead cheap.

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