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Things you never want to hear from podiatry patients

Discussion in 'Podiatry Trivia' started by Robertisaacs, Aug 29, 2007.

  1. David Widdowson

    David Widdowson Active Member

    "You look very hansome in your greens did I tell you I was registered blind"

    Err Ohh Thanks...I think.
  2. Roodle

    Roodle Welcome New Poster

    No she doesn't mind you sharing since her sense of humour is second to none.
    I can go one better and you might remember this from my first LA- "let's just get this over with shall we?" clearly I was in far more pain than the patient at the time!
    I really didn't consider the impact of that sentence out loud. Something to reflect on eh?
  3. Elizabeth Humble-Thomas

    Elizabeth Humble-Thomas Active Member

    - always happens during a really busy clinic, a patient or two backed up in the waiting room -'it's a bit cold today, so I put my tights on under my trousers' (generally in patients with arthritic hands, and who can't reach their feet)...
    Also, in they stumble with two bin bags full of shoes'I thought you'd like to have a look at these' (
    on balance, not right now)
    Or, waving their last silicones at you, which are still in perfect nick 'perhaps you could make me three sets of these in case they break'
  4. Ah yes. Happy days.

    I'm sure she'll do well. I remember another of her practice patients who kept on at her to pull back cos she was trying to inject intradermally into the plantar skin from the inside!

    Honestly, things were much easier when students practiced on each other. Then you got the valuable experience of doing LA while someone shouts abuse at you.
  5. DTT

    DTT Well-Known Member

    Hi Rob


    Oh Really .......:rolleyes:

    Works though dont you think ;):D:D
  6. Roodle

    Roodle Welcome New Poster

    Are you sure that was me??
    Sounds horrendous
  7. Roodle

    Roodle Welcome New Poster

    Oh yes I've just remembered.
    Tee hee
  8. Ninja11

    Ninja11 Active Member

    1. If I was 20 years younger I'd..... (more like 50 years! & still not even if hell froze over!)
    2. I haven't seen a podiatrist before.. I usually just use the angle grinder when the callous on my heels gets bad".
    3. "I've got a good pair of wire cutters I use to cut those thick nails. That gets through em.."
    4. "You don't need to touch my ulcer. The district nurse does it. THEY know what they are doing".... "Oh, I didn't know YOU people treated ulcers.Oh".
    5. "I just got my vaginal stitches out, do you want to see that too?"
  9. richardrobley

    richardrobley Active Member

    "I had my toe nail permanently removed several years ago and I'd like it to grow back now please, it's been no bother" erm... What...?
  10. blumley

    blumley Active Member

    whilst on placement a couple of weeks ago a patient with a neuropathic ulcer attends the wrong clinic, then goes on to state that he does not want to travel to the other site (where the more experienced podiatrists are) as its too far. He then goes on to state that he has been looking after the ulcer himself by making his own dressings and is only here as he was told to come by his doctor. He also kindly points out that he expects the ulcer to be gone in 3-4 weeks, as you can imagine this went down really well

    also the thing about "if I was ten years younger" I got this off a woman in her late 60s, im only 24!
  11. carol

    carol Active Member

    A classic today~ returning patient who saw a collegue 3 days ago~ "I want you to cut more off but don't damage the varnish, I've just paid £30 for a pedicure---what do you mean this is going to cost me another £25??? Don't bovver!!!."....... I rest me case m'lud.....:bang:
  12. blacksmith

    blacksmith Member

    Old female patient

    "I think I've got plantar facetiousness!

    You are so right:bang:
  13. richardrobley

    richardrobley Active Member

    Skin head visitor from mental health hospital up the street
    "can you help me get this poltergeist out of my head"
    Sorry I can't, have you tried up the street, let me show you.
    I then accidentally dropped the latch and locked my self outside with him, 7.00 pm and dark.
    Beam me up Scotty!
  14. richardrobley

    richardrobley Active Member

    Can we put things that emi patients in nursing homes call me? probably not, far to explicit, lol.
  15. Fraoch

    Fraoch Active Member

    I have a lady who every visit wants me to remove the calculus from the sulci. I've been explaining for about 7 years now but as she turns 100 in July I think I can let her off.
  16. Staffordfootcare

    Staffordfootcare Welcome New Poster

    The one thing that patients say that I really wish they wouldn't :

    Me: are you allergic to anything
    Patient: chiropodists!! (GRRR!!!)
    (it's gotten so common that I've started getting in there before them by saying " apart from Chiropodists, is there anything you are allergic to?)
  17. Suzannethefoot

    Suzannethefoot Active Member

    Really? No-one ever said that to me.
    Perhaps it's a Staffordshire thing. The most common thing they seem to be allergic to here in Bournemouth is pain, with a little glance over to my instruments.
  18. Namhla

    Namhla Welcome New Poster

    for me is: "should i call you a doctor or a nurse?
  19. Staffordfootcare

    Staffordfootcare Welcome New Poster

    HaHa, you should reply, " I didn't know I was ill"
  20. supapong

    supapong Welcome New Poster

    Hi all, I'm a Thai podiatrist working in Singapore

    Some of my patients said to me......

    1. Can you put the insoles into my sandals? It's too hot to wear closed-shoes and I think they are ugly. ----- (-__-")

    2. Why do you have to get the custom insoles made from Australia, I'm sure the "China" ones are the same.

    3. I don't cover my wounds because I'm seeing you (podiatrist) today. --- (This pt has fleshy exudative wounds!!!)

    4. Some cockroaches ate up my wound while I was sleeping, do I have diabetes? ---- (What??!!)

  21. Fraoch

    Fraoch Active Member

    Last week's gem; "I've had a BLOOD CLOTH since I was last here".
  22. David Smith

    David Smith Well-Known Member

    Been looking thru the list and I haven't seen this one

    "You're rubbish, give me my money back and I'll find someone else":eek:

    And one that me and my lady patient absolutely wet ourselves laughing like silly school children (and she's a manager at the GMC)

    "Oh flippin heck! what did you just put in my crack? it really stings"

    Now any mention of the word crack has us corpsing all over the place. I've made the rule only to use the term fissure. (don't say fishy fissures :D )

    Regards Dave Smith
  23. MissB

    MissB Active Member

    I hate it when patients say...

    1. In response to me asking if they're taking any medication, "nothing you need to know about".

    2. "What on earth made you want to do this for a living".

    Although I have to say, when I ask what the problem is and the reply is "I've got pain in my balls" I do chuckle :-D
    Last edited: Apr 23, 2012
  24. buddy abdul-ahad

    buddy abdul-ahad Welcome New Poster

    Oh please, Please Please please
  25. I get that!

    Patients saying that I mean.
  26. i-a-n

    i-a-n Member

    I once had a phone call, "my gp tells me I've got an ingrown toenail, you said I didn't "
    Quick check of record card.
    "perhaps I also told you Mr. Major was prime minister, and now your gp tells you that it's Blair, you see, a lot can happen in 18 months"
  27. MJJ

    MJJ Active Member

    "I forgot my wallet, I'll be right back."
  28. Suzannethefoot

    Suzannethefoot Active Member

    I saw one of my regular patients the other day who had just had a procedure on her eye the day before.

    During treatment, I removed a slice of thickened, involuted nail, which hit the side of the toe as it flicked off.

    'Ow! that really hurt!' She cried. 'I'd rather have my eyeball injected again than go through that again!'

    Not the kind of thing you want to hear!
  29. Elizabeth Humble-Thomas

    Elizabeth Humble-Thomas Active Member

    Oh lovely! I've brought my razor, can you shave my legs?
  30. Tindallpod

    Tindallpod Member

    3 true events from NHS podiatry in the UK:
    1. Lady came in in open toed sandals and said 'I hope my feet aren't too dirty, I've been mucking out the pigs and I haven't had time to wash.'

    2. The following conversation between me and Patient (Pt). Note - our department sent out appointment cards:
    Pt: How do I get another appointment?
    Me: When you require treatment, send your appointment card in to our office and they will send it back with a new appointment.
    Pt: But I haven't got a card.
    Me: You must have.
    Pt: No, I haven't got a card.
    Me: It's a small white one with 'Podiatry Service' on the top in big black letters and a grid for appointments to be written in.
    Pt: No, I haven't got a card.
    Me: You must have, otherwise you wouldn't have come today.
    Pt: Well, I haven't had a card.
    Me: Well our office does not give out appointments over the phone, they must have sent you a card with the appointment on.
    Pt: No, I haven't got a card
    Me: Well, you're the right person on the right day at the right time at the right clinic, so how did you know to come here today at this time?
    Pt: They sent me a card . . .

    3. This happened to a colleague of mine. he went out into a waiting room and called 'Mrs Smith please'. Four ladies got up and came towards him - NONE OF WHOM WAS MRS SMITH !!!!!

    Happy days

    Great thread

  31. Tindallpod

    Tindallpod Member

    When I was a podiatry student I was lying on a hospital bed in my gown in the anaethetists room awaiting a simple procedure to stretch my anal sphincter as I had a fissure, plus a full colonoscopy (too much information?). I was chatting to the nurses, and they asked what I was studying. When I told them one said 'how can you look at people's feet all day?' I replied:
    'It's better than what you'll be looking at in a minute!'

  32. twirly

    twirly Well-Known Member

    Why, oh why did I feel the need to Google anal sphincter stretching?! :dizzy:
  33. DTT

    DTT Well-Known Member

    Mand dont go there :eek:

    I have seen a few of them in theatre, you wouldnt believe a car wash sponge would fit !!!!!!
    They make it fit and stay in place and made my eyes water whislt watching thinking how glad the patient must be that he was born after the discovery of anaesthesia :rolleyes:
  34. Sheridan

    Sheridan Member

    1. Have you been busy today?

    2. Can you fit me in?

    3. Yes I have been wearing the supportive lace up shoes you have advised instead of my slip ons. (Shoes brought in clinic were laced up and the client just slipped then on and off!)

    4. Im running a little late. I will be there in 5 minutes ( As If!, when are clients ever only 5 mins late)

    5. $8 for an appointment? Im a pensioner can I get any discount.

    6. Can you cut my fingernails as well?

    7. Are you are student (What do I have to be 60 and grey haired to be qualified????)

    8. You did a much better job then the last podiatrist. (I had been treating the same client for 18 months!)
  35. Tkemp

    Tkemp Active Member

    "I don't feel well..... but don't worry dear I get this all the time and I just sleep it off"
    2 mins later patient stops breathing! :eek:
  36. Johnson

    Johnson Member

    Some of these have been mentioned already,but thought I should give my list anyway,the number one thing I used to hear from patients was

    "but these are the most comfortable shoes I've got !"


    "I forgot to bring in the shoes/runners/sandals that are killing me"


    "can't you just do something so I can wear these shoes,they cost me a fortune"

    4th (toenails)

    " I don't care how short you cut them "

    5th (corns)

    "can't you just get rid of the roots so they won't grow back again?

    6th (Appointments)

    "I am sure my appointment was for 10.30 a.m"

    "have you got your appointment card?"

    "No ,but I am sure"

    7th (Care Plan referrals)

    "Hasn't my Doctor sent you the referral?"

    8th (Podiatry)

    "I couldn't stand looking at feet all day"

    9th (Podiatry)

    "you did 4 years at University to cut my toenails/corns?"
  37. Burke

    Burke Member

    "do you give a pensioner discount?" when 99.9% of your patients are at pensioner age, and you get no discount on rent, supplies etc because you treat pensioners, they have just told you about a recent month holiday to Spain, you notice they are wearing gold rimmed glasses that look $2000 worth, AND you look out the window and see that patient drive off in a new BMW. True story.
  38. Suzannethefoot

    Suzannethefoot Active Member

    It's the same all over the world, you could be talking about one of a hundred of my patients over here in Blighty.
  39. normy

    normy Member

    A few more
    Do you like this job ? ANSWER -IT'S A LIVING
    Have you been doing this all your life.? ANSWER- i HAVEN'T HAD ALL MY LIFE YET
    How long have you been doing this job ANSWER-all day
    Found a black mass between two toes.Looks ominous.
    Inform patient it is chewingum,patient states "I will kill that kid"
  40. i-a-n

    i-a-n Member

    My answer was always "I keep my fees at a sensible level so that all my patients benefit from a discount every time they visit"


    "Yes, I do give discounts to my REGULAR clients"

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